.°• ` [PART 4/4] Final

(We are thinking abt doing smt that act is really hyping me! Not a SURE sure thing, but we want to make a kind of "pride picnic", the idea sounds nice and we will invite some friends as well. I'm so excited bc other than being with the ppl I love I can finally express myself freely, even if for a while. I hope things end up well, i already asked for permission so now "just you wait" lolz)

They do know about our past situation bc i was dumb enough to trust they would act be comprehensive for once...so casually telling them I'm going out with a "friend" isn't going to happen....

Maybe organizing group stuff so she would "eventually" be called sounds bad bc ik i wouldn't give much attention to others as well.....💀 (thats the group stuff we organizing)

Idk what do...there's ppl i trust that maybe could help me, but it would be a whole broader thing that im not capable of sustaining rn... I wish i didn't had to lie to love who i love, but life is not perfect....at last im not actively running away and lying, I'll just keep it private until I can do something about, like have indepence to at last see her by myself and dont depend on them or their permission for it...

In short: things are nice, and getting better in a slow pace. Slow but not steady either TwT, but mostly good days :3 - yeah, I agree :3 the only thing fucking up my life is my mind sooo yeah TwT im alright chat :3

.°• ` [PART 3/4]

Ig that i would feel way more protected if instead of making me leave my friends behind or dont even welcome them like ppl when they visit, they asked with genuine care abt my feelings and allowed me to share without the looming threat of losing them...i would had told them if so...

There's kind ppl outside, wonderful ppl that goes from strangers to literal angels in my life, and part of the family I'm choosing...ik internet is dangerous, i literally join damn mod teams to make safe environments for those kind and nice ppl to meet up and hang out! Im not dumb...for YOUR GOD'S SAKE!

Other than that, I've been trying stuff, some more gaming than usual bc my conventional hobbies feel overwhelming, but im gladly coming back to drawing and arts after finishing my last project :3 (I've been playing A LOT of tiny terraces and literally watching all the videos of the channel Radio Raposa Green - 10/10 chat)

I'm trying to stop scrolling and get way less socials...i dont need that all TwT

(Still abt gamming, if u wanna join my silly minecraft server, ur welcomed there ;3 idk, just want to have a silly place to do silly stuff, everyone is welcome! - dm me for info, it's bedrock only TwT) - the invite is still up!

Well, more nice things? My girlfriend. 🙏

I'm pretty silly silly lately but oh well, what else you're supposed to do when you're literally dating the girl of your dreams...FINALLY???? Idk TwT
I still don't feel worth sometimes, but I'm working it out...

It's complicated, but totally worth it, and a change that will come not for our only good but even for mine too for sure!

It's been 2 months now, and yes, it was on a fucking 13th friday 🗣🔥 XD idk, its just funny and cute :3c >:3 (Soon 3! One day after the Br valentines, how romantic I must say 🗣🔥)

I've been worried...after this year idk how we will see each other...I wanna try getting my license to go out with her, and act have decent dates outside school, but ill have to wait a year....for what my cousin is doing (i dont have the full info) any small incident in the first year can make you lose your license 💀so......ill search it up properly, but ill try to make some scapes for my girly :3c

.°• ` [PART 2/4]

I was really considering leaving, but the team is small and we need help, i dont want to overwhelm our best mod, as she's basically running the server herself....I'm trying to be online and all, but its complicated...I'll give the support i can for now and when the team is strong enough i would prefeer leaving... (I'm still there but nothing has been happening, the community is ok, and ig I should bring the puppygirls word to qweek 😈)

Studies? I was so hyped for start studying for ENEM and do great and go to a great college but...its almost mid year and nothing...........
I feel overwhelmed every time i try to study...idk where to start, idk the past contents i missed...i fear i will fail even if i make effort...i feel exhausted even before starting...they said they wont "talk about it anymore"/remind me like if i was just lazy, but nooo i didn't planned my whole year for this stupid damn test...oh well...
Now I'm by myself, and tbh? I'll study just to piss them off...ill do great and shove on their faces bc i can't stand continue having my decisions and capacity questioned ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I'm not stupid, im not a child anymore...i don't say this bc "i know everything" but bc i know i do have knowledge at this point to at last have an opinion on things regarding to me... (Idk....I'm still feeling overwhelmed, but now i really have to try...already did my subscription so...yeah...good luck for me....)

The same goes for socials...ig that just bc "you don't agree" (fuck your agreement) on someone's identity, doesn't give you any right to exclude them...i feel tired, i can't see my friends, i can't say abt the ppl i love and act care for me without demanding me the world back just bc of damn blood whatever...i miss my friends and the ppl i love...i wish i could be there more often but i cant even text bc if he demands to see im fucked...or a whole essay abt where i met them or whatever...online friends? Prob a predator talking about literally anything with me to do smt...

Im not stupid, unfortunately i already got in contact with that kind of ppl and i can ensure you, they wouldn't spend a year talking to you to eventually do something...in few minutes they can cause harm, in months, weeks...i dont feel protected at all...when worse happened i knew that if i told you all i would hear is a "WE TOLD YOU" and be grounded bc "we are protecting you from causing more harm to yourself there"...

.°• ` [PART 1/4]

I don’t think I made a proper update on my life since i came back to qweek (at last im trying) sooo I took this resume from my channel - where i usually post stuff, ill let the link in my linktree or down this post bc...why not? :3 - and will try to make an update of the update. Its been a while since i sent this soo yeah :3

What happened from March to may? Well: (I left bc i got grounded)

I got grounded bc I was texting my girl and dad demanded to see what i was doing...........sooooo i turned off and denied. He took it and put in his locker at work until a while ago TwT

I finay got back after some long and exhausting whining....

- Oh Starlit, why not showing him what you were doing?

Well, if you really wanted to never see me again, you should have said earlier! Why not show my kinda homophobic dad all my gay stuff, web friends, alterhuman sillies and literally social life and emotional resources bc he said so!?? :D coolio :3

I hate hidding, but what else am I supposed to do 🫩 not like i made a whole fucking presentation and his main point was family values and morals...oh well 😗 its not I'm a liar, im just tired trying to show parts of my life they will destroy for fun

In general, now for the good things other than just complaining...things are doing nice! I'm realizing a lot of stuff about myself and trying to do smt about it. It's still complicated, i can't really do much about my situation and mental state as it depends a lot on stability and continuous efforts, smt I don't have, but i do what i can... (Kinda personal, but not SERIOUS. I'm thinking abt reaching public ressources for mental health one I'm 18, I'm tired of not having my process respected bc of my age or monetary funds (sometimes is this and im not angry bc like...therapy is expensive, but i mean like "you cant do that forever, when you will 'be better?'") So ill start it myself and in a way they cannot interfere)

I'm struggling a bit in the Puppygirls mod team...I'm not a good mod, im not online often and im also not good dealing with the social issues...I fear maybe my responses are too childish or inadequate? Idk...tbh i shouldn't even be in the mod team :v but whatever...

About to make a series of posts for an broader update with 4 parts :3c

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb5xrbz6buMGzJvkEN3z/2499

.°• ` Adivinhem quem tirou aquela bolota da barriguinha???? 🎉

Bixim ta dormindo em pé mas na cama nada, tentando ver se ele dorme mas n pode ouvir alguém andar na sala q ele já levanta TwT

Agr é só trocar a faixa de 12 em 12 horas e ir tomando os remedinhos até a proxima vez

❤️

.°• `Qweekpoint

Não, não estou apaixonada.... 😔
Sendo bem honesta, eu to feliz, mas ansiosa...ele é legal, mas sinto que talvez ele n queira saber de mim por ser "complexa" demais...deixa eu ser honesta e falar oque eu quero pra tu ver 🤫💀

Liberdade é opcional e apenas algo real pra quem tem supporte, se não te apoiam tu q se fo-

"Você não deve explicações a ninguém sobre quem você é" - tem a identidade invalidada simplesmente por existir 🗣🔪🔪🔪

Me sinto paia, sei que isso parece besta, e que eles não tem a obrigação de me apoiar, mas ao menos não jogando minhas coisas fora e me tratando como um caso que depende de concerto e "a Graça de Deus" seria suficiente... agora a tonta besta idiota aq quer comissionar bgl de 90 conto q sei que eles nunca vão me deixar usar, se n jogarem fora, olha q tapada 🤡 tadinha da palhaça 🤪

.°• ` Qweekpoint I

Esses dias foram bem ruins, uma recaída acabou piorando tudo, mas eu sei que as coisas vão ser melhores agora :3

- Ainda estou tentando fazer inscrição pro curso de preparação pro enem, minha organização não valeu de nada porque agora vou ter horários completamente diferentes...

- Vou ter que parar o acompanhamento de novo, mas ao menos ainda consigo me cuidar sozinha por enquanto ou ver outros recursos por aqui perto se for necessário.

- Minha rotina tá bem instável, tô mt ansiosa pras aulas voltarem, mas nervosa por causa de lá...espero que ela tenha mudado de escola...vai ser bem paia, mas ao menos uma segurança que sei que seria ótimo ter, não acredito que termino a escola esse ano ^^

- Tô bem ansiosa esses dias, vou ver oque dá pra fazer sobre isso ou ver se ainda posso voltar a tomar oque eu tava tomando antes

No geral, bem melhor que ontem ao menos, não vai acontecer dnv, acho que vou ficar bem ^^